Everything In Charlotte is Dumb

You’re Wrong: All The Stuff You Like Is Stupid

CHARLOTTE, NC: The things you enjoy about living in Charlotte, North Carolina are wrongheaded falsehoods that are overrated and therefore you should feel bad.

Whenever you’re enjoying a craft beer at a sparkling new brewery with your dog, you’re actually wrong. You’re not enjoying it because it’s dumb. There are too many breweries in Charlotte, and there aren’t enough other things. Breweries make beer and beer is gross and there’s too many types of beer so can we just stop already?

Popular Things Are Dumb

I remember going to a brewery when it first opened, and I thought, “Man, this is pretty cool!” But then I saw how popular it got. Parking was a mess. There were hardly any seats. Beer was more and more expensive. People brought dogs and babies by the boatload. And then I realized – now that this is popular I hate it.

Charlotte Needs New Stuff

Even though all I do every week is go to breweries, there should not be any more breweries being built. I think that something new needs to be introduced to revitalize the city. I don’t have any specific ideas, but I mean everyone likes yoga right? Maybe a yoga bar that also is a brewery you can bring dogs to? Just brainstorming. 

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