RALEIGH, NC: In an unprecedented move, the North Carolina General Assembly passed a law in a special session dedicated to helping victims of Hurricane Matthew declaring that outgoing governor Pat McCrory will keep his position for the remainder of his natural life.
The move came after McCrory disputed his election loss claiming widespread voter fraud. The General Assembly decided unanimously that because of this voter fraud, and because they just don’t like democrat Roy Cooper, that McCrory should be installed permanently to the post.
“This was an easy decision for us,” Representative Phil Berger said, “We feel like we have a mandate from the people of North Carolina after this last election to keep Pat in office indefinitely.”
“The people of North Carolina spoke, and we listened!” Berger beamed, over the din of public protests at the state house.