NOT FAKE NEWS: Inside Hillary’s Secret Unicorn-Fighting Ring

hillary-unicorns

WASHINGTON, DC: In a widely-viewed report that is incredibly true and verified by many sources outside of the lamestream corporate owned media, patriotic reporters were able to get inside Hillary Clinton’s vicious illegal unicorn fighting facility.

The farm, which investigators found through the tireless efforts of citizen journalists, housed hundreds of abused unicorns who were held in deplorable living conditions. The unicorns were being trained to fight for the amusement of the Clintons and their cabal of billionaire friends.

The unicorns are the only known specimens of their species, which until recently were thought to be mythical. It’s unclear if they were genetically modified by FEMA scientists to launch an attack on conservative values, or if they were simply found and bred for their own entertainment.

President Elect Donald Trump is expected to tweet about the unicorns as soon as this article reaches his timeline.

 

Hey Guys!

If you’re on this page, then you probably know me. But if you don’t, my name is Zach Claywell and I am a retired Stand-Up Comedian in Charlotte, North Carolina. I gave up my lucrative (lol) stage career to focus on my illustrious writing career (lolol).

The Charlotte Comedy Scene is an awesome community made up of many wonderful, diverse, caring, cantankerous, witty, drunk, boisterous and all-around hilarious people.

I love the comedians in Charlotte, and I want you to love them too. That’s why I started LOLCLT. I want people who have never stepped on stage to feel like a part of this young city’s vibrant Charlotte Comedy Scene. 

But mostly, I just wanna help make you laugh out loud, Charlotte. 

Help me help you.

Love,

Zach